He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
