Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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