I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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