he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
