is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
