I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
