I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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