So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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