Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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