some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
