Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
