I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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