Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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