I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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