i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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