I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Buhtt sex?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
