Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
