I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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