dude i'm inner monologue high
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
