You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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