My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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