Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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