HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
