I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
