I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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