real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
