my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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