How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
