Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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