More tranny stories later!
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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