he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
false alarm, still single
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