I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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