You're completely useless in the revolution.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
