Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize