no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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