Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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