oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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