I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
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The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
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This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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