dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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