He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
