Pappa wants mamma naked
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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