I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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