Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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