if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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