Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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