I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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