I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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