i permit you to call me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
