I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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