dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
