New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize