this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize