Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize