Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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