Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
