she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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