New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
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If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
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He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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