I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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