one two three fourrrrnication!
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
