it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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