she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
