Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
