I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
