Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize