I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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